That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I have tasted many bathrooms
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
