Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
