I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
