Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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