Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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