One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
