I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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