He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
