Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i need an iv and a liver transplant
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
