you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
