I just pynch a tree in the face
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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