so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
How naked do you want me to be?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
