One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
