Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
