Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
