So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Shame - the story of my life.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
