he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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