I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
