it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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