Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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