So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
