and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
