It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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