Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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