if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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