i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
My vagina is officially offended.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
