Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
