thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
