I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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