Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Cover your peen. We're going out.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
