are you still at the devil's house?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
