And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
