she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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