There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
