I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
