So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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