im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
