I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
