she looked like the before picture.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
