direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
