He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
