there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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