nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
