1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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