i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I bet he comes in French.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
