Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
