sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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