So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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