quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
