this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
